Heartbeat(s) and everything along the way ✨
2 years ago exactly
We started Greyback the same month Chris and I started trying to get pregnant, September 2017. There’s something special and meant to be about it, sort of like my soul knew I’d need the support and self care/love to get through the ride I was about to go on.
Looking back at it all, two years isn’t a large chunk of your life, but when you’re in whiplashes of the physical and mental ups and downs infertility brings, you’re testing your faith, resilience, endurance, character, and your love for one another and yourself, every damn day.
lots of hugs
second time we found out we lost a baby.
I feel like I could write a book on infertility. I want our Greyback females to know you’re not alone if you’re going through any fertility problems, and there are so many options and ways to make a healthy baby (you know I’m here for you, just reach out, even if you’re just starting to think about it).
Long story short, we decided to start trying Summer of 2017. I got off birth control and my period didn’t come for like a year… sweet. Finding an infertility clinic and getting used to being monitored and playing with hormone medication, we were able to get pregnant Spring of 2018 which ended in an ectopic pregnancy (don’t worry, I had to look it up too). The meds they gave me to end the pregnancy didn’t work and it took 3x the doses and time to get my body non-pregnant. My hair started falling out a bit, my emotions were all over the place, and we had to wait a full six months to try again. With one potentially blocked fallopian tube, we tried again, hoping for the best. Last Spring we got pregnant naturally, yay… and it ended in a miscarriage.
I’m so grateful I learned in my late 20’s how to be vulnerable, it allowed me to create a badass community of friends in Boston, Rhody, Austin, New York, and down the street to help me understand all the chaos and constantly give (sometimes push) me into a brighter perspective. I get emotional just thinking about how lucky I am for friends and my husband who care so deeply about me, they just knew what I needed and when, even if I didn’t. Alis said it well about the biggest lesson of 2019.
“The lesson I learned the most in the year was simply, I have the best friends around me and they show up as honest as I do and support me.”
It’s because of you!
You chicks haven’t even realized, but you’ve filled my cup these past two years. Relentlessly, Greyback always falls on the most emotionally demanding days for Alis and I, but as soon as we begin I’m instantly brought back to my most beautiful self and am reminded that all the messiness of my life is full of beauty. You women are badass and strong, don’t ever change.
Heartbeat(s)
After two failed attempts and all the heartache, weeks, and medicine that went along with it, we started IVF in late July of 2019. It worked, and we’re making up for lost time by having TWINS… identical boys 💕. We might need to make Greyback coed July 2020 👯♂️. All in all I’ve been feeling amazing, and I’m filled with so much gratitude that whenever I feel nauseous I push myself to remember gratitude… it works every time (almost :)).
some lessons learned along the way…
1. Be vulnerable, show yourself, and you will be loved :).
2. Literally anything is possible, you just have to visualize it, 100% believe in it, and try every damn day.
3. Be open to how things unfold in your life, it might not happen as you thought but I promise it will be better than you ever imagined.
That’s all for me, now onto learning some prenatal yoga moves. See you on the 25th at Greyback!
xx Alic